Newly away from a 10-year marriage, I was actually naive about
hookup culture
and sex typically. Searching back, I see
a lot of warning flags
from inside the guy we dated for five months after my divorce or separation. Here are the symptoms I missed that I became internet dating a closet gender addict.

1. 
   The guy wished to have sex on a regular basis.
   
   We were having sexual intercourse at least four times just about every day. In the beginning i did not realize it had been unusual; I’d been married for a reasonable time before we dated him therefore I didn’t understand what was a “normal” number of sex. When I ended up being married, typical was once a month, so when I started matchmaking this person, I just believed he had been actually, truly drawn to me personally. I mean, I
   
   am
   
   fairly amazing.
2. 
   He was sorely timid.
   
   I am aware this does not feel like it matches, but the guy came across all their girlfriends on the web, so I believed he’d never really had a one-night stand. I could never ever picture him picking right on up a female in a bar. Turns out, the guy found everybody on Craigslist, Tinder, and other hookup applications. Now I am perhaps not claiming all bashful guys are closet sex addicts, but I
   
   am
   
   proclaiming that being timid does not tip it.
3. 
   He loved ladies in all shapes and forms.
   
   In a fantastic world, all men would never value any woman’s flaws. In fact, we’ve all outdated males that has their unique tastes and dislikes. He previously none. Initially I thought it was empowering; the guy did actually
   take me in my situation
   . However suggest females he discovered attractive, and so they ranged from rail-thin to obese, gothic to black locks, pale skin to dark epidermis. I never ever as soon as believed terrible about any element of my own body in which he never helped me feel unattractive, but later, I’d to question: that’s really attracted to
   
   every person
   
   ?
4. 
   He’d some strange sexual experiences inside the last.
   
   Whom in the morning I to evaluate if the guy did some things that I wouldn’t have? Failed to all of us have a past? Initially I became excited getting found some body therefore open. We purposefully didn’t react when he told me regarding time the guy met some meeting gay guys on craigslist becoming in the receiving conclusion of a glory gap. (it was not homosexual, the guy demonstrated, since he could not understand guy. The guy saw directly pornography whilst the man sang dental on him from behind an article of cardboard.) Subsequently there seemed to be the time he participated in a threesome, and time a lady stumbled on their work so the guy could fist this lady. I need to admit I loved hearing his stories, but I became just starting to be concerned that circumstances he had done in their last might be things he’d desire again in the future.
5. 
   The guy saw porno… lots.
   
   From the the basic discussion about porn. He had been extremely surprised to learn that i did not have trouble with it. How may I dictate he wasn’t permitted to view porn? That could indicate
   
   I
   
   wasn’t allowed to view it, and
   I liked porn
   . Unless it prevented him from willing to end up being personal with me, I didn’t see a problem. It never ever became a challenge; the guy constantly still desired sex. It wasn’t until directly after we separated he admitted it absolutely was curbing him obtaining their work done during the day.
6. 
   The guy had his personal company.
   
   Should you decide consistently should view pornography, masturbate, swipe on Tinder, or arrange craigslist hookups, just what better day job to have than to becoming your employer? He could keep a couple of times through the day without any individual knowing—including me.
7. 
   He would never let me know his “number.”
   
   I didn’t ask outright but we joked about any of it. The guy said he would never ever tell me their number. I added upwards his past girlfriends and thought that quantity. He chuckled and explained, “Probably more.” I figured he’d outdated much more ladies than I’d found out about. I never ever thought he previously connected because of so many arbitrary people.
8. 
   He had been really, good at intercourse.
   
   I imagined it had been because we had been very in melody psychologically. The guy taken notice of my cues during intercourse like not any other man ever endured. As it works out, he would just had a lot of practice. Even though I couldn’t stick to him once I found out he had been cheating (with many other individuals!), we’ll bear in mind him as finest intercourse I ever had.